When 6-year-old Finley Weaver came home from school upset, his parents, Doug and Kirsten, knew something had to change. Their son, who loved rainbows, unicorns, and pink nail polish, was being teased for expressing himself outside traditional gender norms. Instead of discouraging Finley, Doug sent a powerful message—to his son and everyone around him.
A dad takes a stand
Doug Weaver, an artist and educator from St. Louis, Missouri, shared his response in a now-viral TikTok video with 158.6K views.
@dougweaverart @Mel | Med Student raising boys is scary, because we know just how much society is built to tear them down. #men #masculinity #parenting #boydad #greenscreenvideo ♬ original sound – dougweaverart
“As soon as my son started coming home from school with that messaging—kids telling him he shouldn’t wear pink or that unicorns were for girls—I decided to add so much pink to my wardrobe. I basically ‘pinkified’ my entire life,” Doug explained.
But it wasn’t just about clothes. Doug also started painting his nails, just like Finley loved to do. “If Finley goes to school with his nails painted, I know some parents are going to question it. But if they see my nails painted too, the message shifts. It’s like, ‘Oh, it’s not the kid who’s the problem—it’s his dad.”
Doug’s actions were a simple but powerful way to let Finley know he had someone in his corner—and to challenge the outdated norms causing the teasing in the first place. The Weavers’ approach reflects principles of gender-neutral parenting, where children are encouraged to explore interests and self-expression free from societal stereotypes.
The video struck a chord, sparking an outpouring of support from parents and allies, many of whom shared similar experiences. One commenter @theytellmeicanchangethis shared, “My husband got his ears pierced with our daughter, wears pink, cooks, and is an equal partner in domestic labor.
We offer our sons the sparkles and spa days too.” Another commenter wrote, “My 6-year-old son has long hair and paints his nails because he likes it. We live in Kentucky, and it’s challenging for him to be himself. Even with family. This helps. Thank you.”
Related: 6 ways we’re creating a gender-inclusive home for our children
The science behind parental support
Doug’s actions are more than heartwarming—they align with research showing how parental support shapes a child’s mental health. A study published in Pediatrics states: “Parents and caregivers’ responses to their child’s gender identity or expression play a pivotal role in their mental health.”
Affirming parents like Doug foster resilience and confidence, while rejection increases the risk of anxiety and depression. It’s a reminder that small, intentional actions—like painting your nails or wearing pink—can have a profound impact.
This connection between parental support and mental health is especially important given how early children start internalizing gender norms. By the time kids are just 2 or 3 years old, they begin associating toys, colors, and activities with specific genders, according to research by the Reimagine Gender initiative. These cues often come from their environment—parents, peers, and even media.
As children grow, these norms become more entrenched. A global study spanning 15 countries revealed that by age 10, kids have deeply internalized gender stereotypes, which can limit their interests and aspirations. For many children, these stereotypes create barriers to exploring their full potential.
Doug’s decision to openly challenge these norms not only supports Finley but also sends a powerful message to others: Kids shouldn’t have to confine themselves to outdated ideas about what boys and girls “should” like or do.
Related: ‘Muppet Babies’ challenges gender norms by showing Gonzo happily wearing a dress
Navigating confidence and self-preservation
Doug understands the challenges of standing out, having grown up as “the theater kid” in a small Oregon town. Now, as a father, he’s determined to be the parent who says, “You do you.”
However, even the most supportive parents face tricky moments. For instance, while Finley loves painting his nails, he’s aware of potential reactions at school. Sometimes, he paints them on Friday, allowing the color to fade before Monday. It’s a delicate balance between self-expression and managing social dynamics.
“He has to decide how much he wants to go through, how much anxiety he’s willing to face,” Doug tells TODAY. “The act of pushing back on these rigid norms is powerful, but it also comes with the need for self-preservation.”
A rainbow of possibilities
Doug and Kirsten have made intentional choices to expose Finley to a world of diverse, beautiful possibilities.
“We expose him to all kinds of people with different backgrounds, beliefs, and styles,” Doug says. “The more he sees, the more options he’ll have as he figures out who he is.”
This approach is paying off. Despite occasional side-eyes, Finley is thriving. His classmates accept and celebrate him, especially in a class where other kids are also challenging traditional gender norms.
“He’s not alone. Seeing those other kids in his class who are boldly themselves? That gives him the courage to do the same,” Doug says.
Challenging gender norms, one manicure at a time
At the end of the day, the Weavers remind us of what matters most: raising kids who are confident, kind, and unapologetically themselves. And if that means a few more dads need to bust out the pink nail polish, we’re all for it.
