There’s this image so many of us carry with us into labor: the moment our baby is placed into our arms for the very first time. Skin-to-skin, heart-to-heart, everything else fading into the background as we soak in the enormity of what just happened.
For Natalie, a new mom from Colorado, that moment was taken from her—and she’s not alone. Her story, shared on TikTok under the handle @itsonlynatalieee, has struck a nerve with moms everywhere, racking up over 166,000 views. It’s not just a viral video; it’s a rallying cry for every mother who’s ever felt like her birth experience wasn’t truly hers.
@itsonlynatalieee I know my family meant no harm, but emotionally, it made me sad 😂 #momsoftiktok #fyp #fy #parentsoftiktok #baby #newbornbaby #firsttimemom #csection #postpartum ♬ original sound – ivy ୨୧
“I was a little dissociated after my C-section from the medicine,” Natalie told Newsweek. “When I got [back to my room], my daughter was already in my birthing room with my husband, mom, and two sisters who had already been holding on to her since I was held back to get my stitches done.”
Her family didn’t mean any harm. In fact, she knows they were just excited—overjoyed, even—to welcome the first grandchild into the family. But for Natalie, this was devastating. “It just saddened me to realize I was not the first to hold my daughter like I originally planned, but instead I ended up being the fifth,” she said.
And here’s the thing: Natalie’s story is far too common.
Related: Viral TikTok shows all the layers a C-section has to go through—and how they’re cut
The unseen emotional weight of Cesarean births
As moms, we’re often told to be grateful. Grateful for a healthy baby. Grateful for a supportive family. And, of course, we are. But that doesn’t mean we don’t grieve the moments we lose along the way—especially when those moments feel stolen.
I’ve been there. Two of my three births were cesarean deliveries, and while I was endlessly thankful for safe outcomes, there’s still a part of me that aches when I think about what I missed.
When my son—my firstborn—arrived, the joy was palpable. He was the first grandchild, and both sets of grandparents had been waiting through 14 hours of labor to meet him. But once he was born, the excitement didn’t leave much room for me.
I was exhausted, pale as a ghost, and barely able to stand without feeling like my body might collapse. Yet I didn’t want to disappoint anyone by asking for space. Instead, I watched as my son was passed from one eager relative to another, while I sat there, physically shattered and emotionally numb.
A viral TikTok that hit a nerve
Natalie’s TikTok resonated because so many of us get it. The comments on her video overflowed with moms sharing their own heartbreak:
- “With my first, I wasn’t the first to hold her either. Then I constantly had visitors, so I let them hold her before me because I didn’t get my first hour alone,” wrote @mamabearlizzy.
- @cecilialoveslife said: “I had a C-section too, and no one ever prepared me for how much I’d grieve missing out on those first moments.”
- Another mom added: “I was the third to hold mine, and it still stings a little. Moms need time to heal and bond first.”
It’s no wonder Natalie’s story hit such a chord. “I know my family meant no harm, but emotionally, it made me sad,” she said in her TikTok.
That sadness isn’t selfish. It’s human.
Let’s reclaim the narrative
Natalie hopes her story will inspire moms-to-be to communicate their birth preferences clearly—because birth plans aren’t just about logistics. They’re about protecting you. She told Newsweek, “I’m happy to have been able to help [others] adjust their birth plan to be exactly the way they need.”
Here’s the truth: Birth is unpredictable. Emergencies happen. But that doesn’t mean we can’t advocate for what we need in those early, vulnerable moments. Whether it’s asking for time alone with your baby, limiting visitors, or ensuring someone in the room is there to prioritize your wishes, it’s okay to claim your space.
And if you’re reading this and feeling that same pang of loss? Let me say this: You are allowed to grieve what you missed. You’re allowed to process it, to share it, and to demand better.
Because every mom deserves to feel like the main character in her own birth story.
Related: 8 natural C-section recovery tips to help you feel better fast
