When that TikTok from @s__june first crossed my feed, showing two best friends tackling household chores and parenting together after their divorces, I almost dropped my phone out of sheer jealousy. “Life is easier with a village!!!” read the caption, followed by that deliciously honest disclaimer: “And because I know the comments coming lol, we both very much like men but two women splitting house and kid chores has proven easier than with men 😅”
Listen, Shannon and Cheyanne aren’t saying anything that lesbian moms haven’t known FOREVER. When there’s no dude in the equation, somehow dishes actually make it to the dishwasher and laundry doesn’t sit in piles until someone needs “the good sweatpants.” These two brilliant, divorced besties have simply discovered what so many of us learn the hard way: sometimes it takes a divorce to build the village you actually need.
Related: It takes a village… but who should be in yours?
The village that saved my sanity
As someone who’s been co-parenting for over eight years now, I can attest to how crucial having a support system is. I’ve seen firsthand how the “it takes a village” approach to parenting isn’t just a cute saying—it’s a survival strategy.
I’ve said it before (usually after my second glass of wine at girls’ night) and I’ll say it again: Sometimes I think everyone should get divorced. Not because I’m anti-marriage, but because sharing the care of your kids with a village keeps everyone more sane. That statement gets me some serious side-eye at PTA meetings, but I stand by it. (Yes, I’m aware this can happen sans divorce but having built-in kid-free time is pretty great when you know they’re safe and happy at their other house. Don’t @ me please.)
The unspoken perks of bestie parenting
When Shannon and Cheyanne show their six kids dancing around the living room with the caption “Pro-tip: get a divorce at the same time as your best friend and become two moms raising six kids,” they’re not just talking about dividing household duties. They’re talking about the secret benefits only your bestie can provide.
Imagine having someone who knows exactly when you need a glass of wine slid across the counter without having to ask. Someone who says, “Go take a bath, I’ve got this,” and actually means it. Someone who doesn’t need an itemized explanation of which kid needs which medication at what time because they already know.
And let’s talk practical perks: sharing a wardrobe if you’re the same size (doubling your options for that parent-teacher conference), never running out of tampons because someone in the house always has a backup supply, and having an automatic plus-one for those dreaded school functions where single parents get cornered by that one overly-friendly divorced dad.
Most importantly, when one of you is having a complete meltdown over finding Goldfish crackers in the bathroom AGAIN, the other one can handle bedtime without judgment. That kind of tag-team parenting is worth its weight in gold.
What my Kids have taught me (when I was finally calm enough to listen)
My now-teenagers have grown up with multiple adults who love and support them. They have their dad, they have me, and they have my partner who stepped into their lives and chose to be there for them day after day. They don’t see this as unusual—it’s just their normal.
Kids are remarkably adaptable when surrounded by love, whether that love comes from a traditional two-parent household, a single parent killing it daily, two moms, two dads, or—in our case—a mom, a dad and stepmom down the road, and a bonus dad who showed up and offers a whole new perspective. My kids have learned that families come in all shapes and sizes, and more importantly, that more adults means more people to hit up for spending money.
Finding peace in the chaos (and cheesecake in the fridge)
There are moments—usually at 2 AM when someone’s throwing up or at 5 PM when everyone’s hungry and cranky—when having another adult in the mix feels like winning the parenting lottery. As Shannon and Cheyanne have discovered, two women tackling life together can create a harmony that just works.
When the day has been long and the patience has run short, there’s nothing like having someone to sit with at the kitchen table after the kids are in bed. Like Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia knew all too well, even the most complicated problems seem more manageable over a slice of cheesecake with your chosen family. Sometimes I think those Golden Girls were onto something with their shared house and late-night kitchen talks—they were co-parenting themselves through their golden years, and making it look good.
A new kind of normal (that actually works)
What Shannon and Cheyanne are demonstrating—and what I’ve found in my own life—is that “family” can be defined in ways that actually function in real life. Sometimes the most practical family units are the ones we piece together from the wreckage of what didn’t work, creating something stronger and more flexible than before.
I firmly believe that parenting as a village is the true sanity saver. Whether that village includes ex-partners, new partners, best friends who’ve seen you ugly cry in the Target parking lot, or that neighbor who always somehow knows when you need an emergency babysitter and a bottle of emergency rosé.
When I watch that TikTok of Shannon, a business owner and mother of four from Northern Nevada, and her best friend Cheyanne, a mother of two, tackling the mountain of laundry together, I see women who’ve figured out what took me years to learn: we weren’t meant to do this alone, and honestly, it’s way more fun when you don’t.
So here’s to the village, in whatever form it takes. Here’s to Shannon and Cheyanne and their six dancing kids. And here’s to every parent who’s found a way to share the load, ease the burden, and find moments of joy (and occasional adult conversation) in the beautiful chaos of raising tiny humans into big ones.
May we all find our parenting besties, may our wine glasses never be empty, and may there always be cheesecake in the fridge for those late-night kitchen confessionals.
Related: Postpartum depression left me isolated—here’s how I built a village for moms